Myth Busting Can Help Save Marriage
Reality is different than the world as portrayed in fairy tales and chick flicks. Every blushing bride and nervous groom (gold-diggers excepted) thinks they’ve found their one true love and genuinely believes their marriage will last. Yet these days up to half of all marriages end in divorce. Maybe we can help save marriage by giving up some romantic notions and being a little more down-to-earth.
Romantic Fiction: We will live happily ever after. Real life continually throws up problems for married couples. Your spouse, no matter how well intentioned, will not be able to wave a magic wand and make everything better. You will have to take joint responsibility in dealing with difficulties.
Myth: I can change my spouse. Your partner had many years to form personality traits before they met you. They may have habits that get on your nerves, but you wouldn’t have married them if they didn’t also have qualities you admire. You have to learn to live with the whole package.
Myth: We will be in love forever. If by being ‘in love’ you mean you will be passionately addicted to each other to the point where you can’t focus on anything else in life, you are probably in for a disappointment. In marriage, the infatuation of romance eventually wears off. It is replaced by a more mature kind of love: a constant, compassionate devotion to each other.
Myth: My partner and I totally understand each other. No two people can ever see out of the same pair of eyes. We all have different inborn personalities as well as different experiences that give us a unique outlook on the world. You can’t expect your partner to intuitively know how you feel about something.
Myth: We will always agree on important matters. Spouses tend to share general views on political or social issues. That doesn’t mean they will have the same opinion about every decision that has to be made in the course of life. There’s nothing inherently wrong with disagreement as long as both partners are willing to meet halfway.
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